Marrying someone who hails from a country different from yours can only mean one thing. You have to decide where to live. The spouse’s country or your country? More often than not, couples in this kind of relationship anticipate this kind of transition. And that’s what happened to me. Before I agreed to take the plunge with my husband, I had already thought of it. I told myself I was more than ready. But was I?
It turned out I wasn’t. This phase was no piece of cake. It was harder than I thought. The separation anxiety crept into my system. I was used to living away from my family because of my job. But moving out of the house, away from them, not to mention abroad and for good? That was a different story. That, I never anticipated. I thought the fact that I worked in a far-distant city for years would spare me from all these emotions. Boy was I wrong. I even teared up when the plane took off. Peeking down below, looking at the view gradually fading away as the plane soared, that’s when reality hit me.
The day before our flight to Japan, I called my family and I talked to my mother over the phone. I was telling her about the flight schedule when the line suddenly went silent. At first, I couldn’t make out if it was the intermittent signal that interrupted us. Or my mother just didn’t wanna utter more words. Then, she only said, ‘Ok, take care’. Silence again. And I heard her giving back the phone to my sister.
My sister and I talked for a while, but I didn’t ask any more questions. I knew what my mother did. It wasn’t a cold shoulder she gave me but instead, the love of a mother. The thought that one of her kids had to go live overseas was something new to her. I knew she was happy that I found my other half, but she’s a mother. You know what I mean by that. She longs for her kids just like how we, her kids, long for her care. So, it was a relief when I called home and heard from my sister that our mother felt better after crying. She just told her that I would go home for a vacation from time to time so there’s no need to dwell on sadness.
I, on the other hand, arrived in Japan with excitement and the sadness I tried to shake off. To be honest, it’s not the first time I suffered separation anxiety. I always have this whenever I go home but have to go back to the city for work. Just like how I dealt with it before, I knew that it’d pass. And it did.
By the way, this happened over a year ago. Thankfully, we already have learned to adjust to this. However, since I arrived here in Japan, I haven’t been able to visit the Philippines due to the pandemic. Hopefully, I could do that soon.
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