To begin, I won’t generalize the experiences of every housewife in Japan because I can’t speak to how each husband treats his wife. Instead, I’ll focus on my own marriage. While I’ve heard plenty about marital dynamics in Japan, such as the stereotype that Japanese husbands don’t pitch in with household chores, my perspective is shaped solely by my personal experience. I’ve read and heard various accounts, but now I’ll share my own viewpoint.
Regarding husbands not assisting with household chores, I believe it’s not inherently negative, depending on the circumstances. Understandably, if a husband is working tirelessly and consumed by his job, it’s reasonable that he might not contribute as much domestically. However, if he’s neglectful due to laziness or other vices, it’s understandably disappointing. I’ll delve into my own situation to provide a richer perspective and challenge stereotypes about Japanese husbands.
In my case, my husband and I don’t have children or pets, so my responsibilities as a housewife aren’t particularly demanding. Fortunately, my role allows for a flexible and relatively light lifestyle. At times, I even find myself feeling guilty for not having more to do.
When it comes to household chores, my husband typically relies on me, although there are occasions when he steps in to help with tasks like washing dishes, doing laundry, and cooking. Cooking, in particular, is something we often do together as a way of bonding. While my husband doesn’t frequently take on chores, I don’t mind at all. Why? Because he’s the primary breadwinner, often caught up in demanding work and business trips. Seeing him exhausted saddens me, honestly. Plus, I’ll admit, I’m not the best cook, which adds another layer to my acceptance of the situation. It’s just one more thing to feel guilty about.
Of course, neither of us is perfect. I find myself occasionally getting irritated over trivial matters, as anyone does. But as I reflect on my husband’s qualities and any flaws, I realize there are few things to fault him for, which I choose not to disclose here. Overall, he’s a wonderful husband who treats me like royalty. Not through extravagant gifts, but through thoughtful gestures and occasional indulgences, sometimes on the pricier side. He’s always supportive of activities I want to try, like the recent discussion about getting a bicycle. While it’s still under consideration, his willingness to entertain the idea speaks volumes. I don’t often request material things, so I like to think I’m a pretty good wife, don’t you agree? Haha, I’m quite content. But this post is not about me. Haha.
To be honest, I’ve pondered how my husband would treat me if we had children. Would his attitude change? Would I feel less important, left to manage the household and childcare alone? Even if I were to ask him, his response wouldn’t fully alleviate my concerns because reality often differs from theory. However, parenthood isn’t on the horizon for us at the moment. While I haven’t ruled out the possibility entirely, I do worry about whether I’m equipped to handle the responsibilities of motherhood. I’ve grown accustomed to a lifestyle focused on myself, as a wife with relatively light responsibilities. So, I’m uncertain about what lies ahead.
Yet, in our current dynamic, I appreciate how my husband treats me. He respects my autonomy, allowing me to pursue my interests without pressure or suffocation. He grants me the freedom to be myself, and for that, I’m truly grateful.
Feel free to share any insights or personal experiences you have on these topics, or anything else related to marriage life in Japan!
